Stoner Japan

Stoner Japan is an official Non-Canon story in the Bridge Universe.

Origin
From the great minds of Norden and Troll. This story came to life in a late night voice call in the Troll's Bridge Discord Server on October 11th 2020. A google document note was created to summarize the concept. Urovah paid a writer on Fiverr to write it out in detail.

Fiverr Fan-Fiction
“Hey bro, look what I got,” RJ nudged Ethan, showing him a small paper bag with two small brownie slices.

“Fuck, are you crazy? You brought that shit on the plane?” Ethan looked around, but it was a long flight to Tokyo and the other passengers were either asleep or glued to the mini TVs.

“Shh! One last high before we start our lives as the random white dudes in Japanese porn,” RJ took a big bite of his brownie. “It’s gonna be sick.”

Ethan ate fast and flicked through the films and shows on the entertainment system. “Hey, they have Naruto!”

“We should watch it in Japanese, learn some of the lingo.”

They both tuned their systems and as the high began to slowly spread they relaxed. When the plane landed ten hours later it felt like no time had passed at all.

“Hey, RJ-kun, I totally think I can speak nihongo!”

“Watashi mo, Ethan-kun!” RJ winked at the air stewardess as they disembarked, they were going to be big fucking deals in Japan.

**

A small man with a sign that read RJ and Ethan was waiting in arrivals, and ushered the two towards a small black car.

“Moshi moshi my friend,” Ethan said as they put their bags in the trunk.

“Hello, I am Watanabe,” the man replied, “I will take you to Oshi studio, Kikumoto san is waiting for you there for the screen test.”

The pair high fived and jumped in the back. “We’re gonna be super kakkoii.”

In the front of the car the driver dialled the studio director.

“I am returning with the two gajin,” he said.

“Everything is well with them?” Kikumoto asked. The market for niche pornography was growing, some fresh faces would no doubt entertain their sponsors and distributors.

“… they are using strange versions of words, like they are cartoon people,” Watanabe told him carefully.

“That is very normal when Americans arrive, just laugh and nod,” Kikumoto advised. “We’ll put them straight into a scene so please come to the door to set 3.”

**

The drive to the studio was long, they left the busy highway and pulled onto much quieter country roads through the mountains before arriving at a large industrial building set into some woods.

“Come quickly,” a man wearing an old fashion yukata waved them quickly through a small door. “The prime minister is here! Japan needs your help! You must fuck every girl in the village to release the power of the nation before a terrible evil is released!”

“Yosh! We’ll save you!” RJ shouted, pulling off his clothes as they followed the man into a village filled with young women dressed in shinobi costumes. An official in elaborate robes bowed deeply.

“Please, oh great gajin from the east, our fate is in your hands!”

“Don’t worry, RJ-kun and me, we got this. RJ, ikimasu!” Ethan grabbed the first girl he saw and RJ did the same. Neither noticed the two camera men, dressed as shinobi.

“Where do you get your actors, Kikumoto-san?” A visiting sponsor asked. “They are so enthusiastic.”

“That is a secret,” the director said, closing the subreddit page on his phone. He’d have two more Americans arriving in a week.